"I left my true love in the Dominican Republic when I was very young. My family was leaving for Puerto Rico. I ended up marrying a man who did not treat me well, and moving to America. My true love is married now as well. I still talk to him, but we cannot be together. It is impossible. Maybe when we die, it will be possible. I hope that we die at the same time.”
The victim under the sheet was a woman in her late fifties. She was Miss Austria in her early 20’s and a contestant in the Miss World pageant. At the time of her death she was destitute and alone, but still carried her passport with a photo of her at the peak of her beauty. She was stunning. On October 22nd of last year, wandering the halls of the building she had chosen for her last act, she had looked for an open window at the record company that produces Maroon Five. Asked to leave, she found one a floor above in a hallway, took sleeping pills, sat on the ledge in the sunlight for about ten minutes, then leaned forward.
About two years before he died, Wittgenstein was talking to somebody who asked him how he could admire a person like (Cardinal) John Henry Newman, who believed in miracles (specifically the miracle of Napoleon being defeated at Moscow because the Pope had excommunicated him three years earlier.) …
Wittgenstein: Twenty years ago I would have regarded Newman’s action as incomprehensible, perhaps even insincere. But no more…
Somebody: But what changed in you that you no longer think so?
W.: I came gradually to see that life is not what it seems.
[very long silence]
W.: It’s like this: In the city, streets are nicely laid out. And you drive on the right and you have traffic lights, and so on. There are rules. When you leave the city, there are still roads, but no traffic lights. And when you get far off, there are no roads, no lights, no rules, nothing to guide you. It’s all woods. And when you return to the city you may feel that the rules are wrong, that there should be no rules.
S.: I still don’t understand.
W.: It comes to something like this—If you have a light, I say: Follow it. It may be right. Certainly life in the city won’t do.